Moving on
Looking back but thinking forward.
It did come as a shock to some creative friends when I said I had found a job and that I was going to leave my business behind. Truth is, I had been looking for around 18 months before I landed my new full time graphic design gig at Plymouth City Bus / Go South West. The decision had been made long before I let the cat out of the bag.
Freelancing and working for yourself is tough, folks! Super tough and at least I did it and gave it so much time and passion. I’m very proud of myself and very found of that time. I never rested though and when times were tough. I spent a lot of time trying to empower myself to keep on going. I wrote and illustrated about it often. The truth is, I was kidding myself in a lot of respects. I always thought it would get better. Next year will be my year. But it never really worked out like that, despite my innate optimism and laid back mindset to life. Whilst I never rested when times were tough I never rest when times were good either. It was never ending marathon of stress a lot of the time. I thought, I’m in my 40’s now, how long can I actually keep this level of intensity going and still make it to retirement and my senior years? In all honest I didn’t think I would make it to 50 without dropping down dead at my desk, pencil in hand. I like living and I want to be around for my kids for as long as possible also. So I made the decision to leave it all behind and go back to being employed.
Do I miss the freelancing life?
Honestly? No! I do however, miss the people I used to share a studio with, but not the life necessarily. Where I was 6 years ago mentally, to where I am now, is a completely different head space. Sure there were a lot of freedoms with being a freelancer and the novelty of doing things on my own terms, but at times my business felt like I was tethered to a ball and chain. It was with me every where I went and always on my mind. For me, this is no way to live life. Now I feel the weight has been lifted and ultimately, I’m still doing the creative work that I fell in love with some 20 years ago as a college student. I’m still winning, I’m just heading out on a different path now.
I didn’t quit. I move on!
I never once thought to myself that I had failed or abandoned everything I built. I never felt any shame and I know that this has been a great step in the right direction. I did wonder what other people might think. On the whole, people have been really encouraging, still, regardless I had to do what I had to do. I simply had to move on and I didn’t quit anything. I just changed the trajectory of my journey. I’m still doing creative work and one month on, I’m very happy. Whatever your situation or path, you have to do what’s right for you. If that means changing it up for a better lifestyle and for piece of mind then do it I say.
-
Stay well and thanks for reading.
Pete :)
